I smuggled you up to my 12th floor apartment in a shoe box. You were tiny, just weaned from your mother, and so scared.
My psychiatrist recommended I get something to take care of because I was despondent and wanted to hurt myself. Something that would be dependent on me being around. I was living in dark days. I had left my position as Singles Pastor at my church and had come out as a gay man. Everyone in the entire church ostracized me except one person. One true friend who stayed by my side as fierce a protector as I've ever known.
So that's how you came into my life Gideon. You were named after Gideon from the Old Testament. "God is with you, you mighty man of valor."
I had the bathroom all prepared with food, water and a bed for you to sleep in.
I had never had an animal companion indoors before. Growing up all our cats and dogs lived in the barns.
You had other ideas that very first night and cried LOUDLY until I brought you to bed with me. You curled up on my upper chest and with your head on my neck you purred and purred until you went to sleep. I didn't sleep a wink that first night, so afraid I would roll over in my sleep and hurt you.
You grew and we bonded. You were with me through several apartments, 2 long-term relationships, and 4 jobs.
You kept all my secrets. Were always there for me to talk to. You gave such amazing unconditional love to not only me but to your little sister Lena. You were so gentle and loving to her. She was a broken, sick little girl and you were an incredible big brother to her.
19 years. You and I were together for 19 years until you got sick. It happened so quickly. We tried a desperate attempt to treat you but it didn't work. It was your time.
I held you in my arms that morning at Larkspur Cat Clinic as they gave you a sedative to calm you before the shot to put you to sleep. You lay in my arms and looked at me with your big green eyes. The same eyes that had looked at me for 19 years with such love and compassion. It only took seconds for your eyes to close and your heart to stop beating.
I love and miss you very much Gideon.
